Cry fatboy cry

Pic caption: This is me crying about being fat. Grow up fatboy.

Okay, so, here goes with the kind of blog I never wanted to have to write.

When I started The Project back in May I told myself that if I wrote a blog whinging about how fat I am, snivelling into my double chocolate chip muffin about my 'struggle' and how hard it is to lose weight and that nobody understands me except the pizza delivery guy, (or should that be pizza pusher), that nobody would want to know. Quite reasonably people would just think 'stop eating fatboy, maybe that will help'.

But it seems I've hit a bit of a slump and according to Lisa, my Leader at Weight Watchers, six to eight weeks is the classic point where a lot of people look at their plate of steamed veg and half a salmon fillet and say 'feck this, I'm off for a pint and a burger'. Having made so much progress in the first six weeks, it was as if my psyche was saying 'hey there lard arse, you don't have enough of a challenge to deal with, so here's what we're going to do. I'm going to hit the self destruct button here, and you'll spend the next week eating several helpings of every meal, drinking more booze than is healthy and finding every excuse under the sun to get out of doing any exercise at all.' It's weird how psychology can play such a big part in this whole thing.

It also felt like everywhere I turned somebody was talking about how much weight they had lost.

There was a story in the Western Daily Press I saw about a bloke who had lost ten stone in a year, which rather puts me in the shade.

And then Stephen bloody Fry has suddenly shed six stone and is swishing around town like some 50+ Adonis. Although in the pic I saw he does look a lot older, and strangely like Michael Parkinson. He really was somebody who suited the well-fed look I think though.

Anyway he's talking about writing a book about it, blah blah. So another of my get-a bit better off-quickish ideas hits the fan.

Feeling a little lacking in motivation as I was, these amazing success stories did nothing for me except push me further into self-pity and closer to the muffins and wine.

The fact that I'm now writing the blog again is a good indication that I'm back on track as that was something else I neglected last week. I just couldn't be arsed with being good, and as I was falling off the wagon, I didn't want to write about it and highlight my failings. It's not exactly good PR.

I really didn't want to talk about it either when people asked me how it was all going, with no great achievements to announce I was really quite reluctant to have those conversations. In which case, I would tell myself, don't write a blog about it all and expect people to give a damn. So I snapped out of that too.

But there was definitely a switch in my brain that was flicked and led me to reject everything I have been building up over the past six to eight weeks. And I have also been a bit of a moody sod as a result.

I even almost didn't go to my weigh in yesterday, as I knew I had put weight back on but didn't want to have it confirmed. At the back of my mind the good side of the force was just about strong enough to fight the dark side and force me to get there, which was a good thing because I think if I stop going to meetings the whole game could be up. Structure and goals are key to success I think.

I have put on 1 and a half pounds from last week and I weighed in at 16 stone 13 lbs.

I am glad that it's still under 17 stone, and actually I know that one and a half pounds isn't a huge amount, but that's the point. If I hadn't gone to get weighed I may have stayed on the dark side this week and piled on another couple of pounds and by next week it could have been even worse.

So instead of crying like a baby I have decided to attack this head. For the next month I am going to take inspiration from the boy Fry and cut out bread and chocolate. Which means no more Nutella on toast for breakfast.

He reckoned the weight just 'rolled off' when he stopped eating bread. But he was also doing a lot of exercise according to his Twitter page.

It is also less than 12 weeks to go until the Bristol Half Marathon so I really have to step up several gears with the training too. And amongst all of that I've got to try to earn a living somehow. Bring it on.