Difficult weekend ahead

I have a horrible feeling this weekend is not going to be good for the weight loss project.
I have only really just found the motivation to start packing for our move which is supposed to happen, and is going to happen tomorrow and Sunday.
I think some comfort food is going to have to happen a bit later.
I really can't be arsed with a piece of low fat grilled fish on a bed of bugger all, washed down by a tasty glass of water and followed by half a banana.
It's time to face facts, I'm going to need pizza, and it's going to be cheesy, and big.
It's a bit annoying as I was on for getting down to 17 st next week, which will have been a whole stone in one month. I'm hovering between 17,1 and 17,3 right now.
But hey, you don't move every weekend right? And I'll just have to work even harder next week I guess. Great.

Slight fall off the wagon

I have sinned, and I am sorry, truly, truly sorry.

Well not really.

I had a sneaky glass of prosecco when we went out for dinner tonight as we were sort of celebrating getting the keys to our new flat and starting new working lives.

Popped into the new Aqua on Whiteladies Road, which was really busy, and had a lovely evening.

I had monk fish, wrapped in pancetta on a bed of vegetables, and I think I did well to resist sinking a bottle of wine and going for the most chocolatey of dessert.

And apart from the fizzy I drank water all night.

It was a busy day today, and I'd only had a bowl of corn flakes for breakfast, and some overpriced sushi for lunch. So I was pretty hungry by the time we got to the restaurant at about 9.30. Probably didn't need to gorge on bread and olives, it was just so nice and fresh though.

Anyway I'll work it off over the next few days during the big move I'm sure.

Also went for a run today, did 35 minutes in the sunshine. Felt pretty good as the same run took 45 minutes last week.

Food and exercise diary, Wednesday, May 27

Breakfast: A banana.
Lunch: Two chicken in pitta breads, with salad.
Dinner: Tapas-style buffet round a friend's house in honour of Barcelona vs Man U Champs League final. I fear I may have over-indulged on paella, as the Man U team must have done. No other way to explain their sluggish performance.

Exercise: About two hours in the gym: 23 mins cross trainer, 24 mins treadmill, 11 mins bike.
Followed by circuit of weights. Felt like a good workout. Burned about 50 calories according to the machines. Woop woop.

Slightly ranty food and exercise diary, Tuesday, May 26.

Today I had the most supremely egotistical idea I've had since I was in the fifth year at school and thought a ten minute drum solo in the middle of the school concert would be a good way to display my talents.

While I was out running on Tuesday (one hour ten mins, over the bridge and back, about four miles), I thought about the whole MPs expenses scandal thing and how politicians have finally sunk further than the the depths inhabited by journalists in the publics' eyes - and I say that as a journalist myself, albeit between scoops.

I was thinking that one of the solutions to the problem would be to do away with party politics completely and have an assembly of independently elected men and women to represent areas of the country.

And then I thought, why not stand for election myself? It would be the ultimate exercise in attention seeking and my slogan could well be 'please vote for me and show me how much you love me'. The rejection factor is of course massive but imagine that feeling of euphoria when the returning officer calls out the result in a drafty leisure centre at 4am and confirms that several thousand people liked me enough to vote for me.

No wonder politicians rarely want to give up their seat and the chance of feeling at the centre of the universe once every four or five years.

Politics is often described as showbiz for ugly people, which is spot on, 'cos none of the blokes are going to give Brad Pitt any worries about losing his World's Most Fanciable Male title, and I think Ms Jolie is probably safe too.

And the recent exposure of their snouts so deep in the trough confirms that they obviously feel untouchable and above the dull restrictions that the rest of us normal people have to live by, such as having to pay our bills without help from the taxpayer.

As somebody who was made redundant a couple of months ago and not knowing where my next duck island is coming from, it makes my blood boil (and for the first time I really understand why people say that) to think how they are all claiming thousands each year for stuff the rest of us have to find the money to pay for, like living! And don't forget they all get paid upwards of £60K as a basic minimum salary, which is more than double the average wage in this country.

Even the meekest Lib Dem or most earnest Labour MP are still claiming for things like mortgage interest, council tax food and furnishings at least. Frankly it makes the most spongiest of spongers living all their lives on benefits and raking it in for all their ten kids and fictional relatives, look as if they're not really trying.

Who knew that Tory MPs, who once ran entire election campaigns basically demonising 'single mothers', blaming them for all the ills of society and draining the public purse, when they were actually the ones screwing us for every penny.

The other thing about being an independent MP is that you could actually do what the people who elected you want you to do.

There must have been loads of Labour MPs who wanted to vote against some of the more unpopular ideas this government has had, tuition fees, war in Iraq (if they'd been given the chance), but felt compelled by the party line.

Why not do what your electors want, hold an online poll on your official blog every week, and stay in touch with public opinion.

Essentially most people want a job, decent public services and a low rate of tax, which is a difficult circle to square of course, so whoever gets the balance right is likely to stay in power. But why should this be a party political thing?

Give the people what they want I say, Joanna Lumley and Esther Rantzen will be running the place soon anyway.

Oh, and on Tuesday I ate the following:

Breakfast: A banana.

Lunch: Two pittas with chicken and salad, touch of mayo.

Dinner: Seafood with pasta, mixed with half fat creme fraiche and some chopped chives. Had a bit of chocolate after, not doing well cutting it out of my diet.

Medals

I was most encouraged to read in the Evening Post today that the 'tailenders' that ran the Bristol 10K will get their medals after all.
Apparently they did have enough to give out, but some people decided to take more than one, I can hardly believe it, meaning the losers who crawled in at the end missed out.
My hopes were dashed though after reading on and discovering they are going to post them to us using the information on the special chip we ran with and handed in at the end.
Bugger.
I didn't wear my special chip, as I was fully expecting not to finish in any case. Oh well, the London Marathon medal is the only one that matters now. As well as the Bristol Half Marathon of course.

Dear diary, Monday May 25

I thought when somebody suggested I keep a food diary that it was a great idea.
I'd pencil in at least six meetings a day with the dinner table and manage to keep each one.
Turns out that's not quite what they meant.

Breakfast: Corn flakes with banana, doesn't get much better.
Lunch: Split pea and ham soup, with two slices of wholemeal toast.
Dinner: Fillet of trout, griddled, with new potatoes, green beans and peas. Been eating so much fish lately I'm starting to feel like a binge-eating penguin.
Had a bit of chocolate to follow that. May try to cut out chocolate entirely this week.

Exercise: Decided to take a day off running and stuff, but have been quite active packing up boxes ready for moving house. Think I'd rather be out running.

Food and stuff, Sunday May 24

Exercise: Managed a 45 minute run in the late afternoon, which considering it was the hottest day of the year may not have been the greatest idea. It really was like running through hot glue at times.
Glad to do it though, that's two runs this weekend, on top of the 34 mile bike ride on Friday. I just hope it's working.

Breakfast: Two poached eggs on wholemeal toast. Hmmm.
Lunch: One chicken sandwich on wholemean bread.
Dinner: Pasta parcels with Weight Watchers sauce, with tomato and pepper salad, doused in olive oil and balsamic vinegar, along with cous cous.
Dessert: The final Go bar, strawberry yoghurt flavour. Glad I made it through the pack at last.

I'm The Invisible Man

Pic caption: Me in lovely Bath.





AFTER weeks of threatening to do it I finally went into the shed, clambered over the rusting barbecue, odd wellies and growbags to hoyk out my bike.
I love my bike, at least I did a few years ago when it was new and lovely and worked like a dream and more importantly I could get the best out of it.
Things, I discovered, are a bit different now. After brushing off the odd bit of mould and pumping up the tyres, I decided to ignore the fact that half the bike was covered in rust and climbed on to the razor-like saddle.
My bike is a Schwinn, what you used to call a racer, and due to my short legs it's quite a small one. I'm not entirely convinced that it's not actually a child's bike.
But because it's quite small, and very lightweight and has very thin tyres, I felt a bit like a cartoon circus elephant wobbling into the ring on a trike.
Once I recovered my balance and remembered how the gears worked, I headed through the city.
Now, I've never been particularly passionate one way or the other on the cycling issue. I find that when I'm driving that some cyclists seem to take stupid risks by coming up the inside and cutting across me.
When I'm cycling I feel motorists don't take into account the needs of cyclists. And when I'm on foot I think motorists and cyclists are all out to get me as I try to cross a busy road in rush hour. Ultimately the most informed opinion I have is that if everybody who cycled in Bristol used a car to get where they were going, the traffic nightmare we live in would be so much worse.
But I had also forgotten just how invisible you become on a bike. It's no wonder so many cyclists wear that awful fluorescent lycra.
To be fair motorists weren't too bad, but I had to go down Whiteladies Road, Park Street and Broadmead/Cabot Circus to get the start of the Bristol to Bath cycle path.
And I couldn't believe how many times I had to swerve to get out of the way of people who just stepped into the road without bothering to look.
So busy were they talking inane rubbish on their phones, or stuffing their faces with chips, that their brains had obviously slowed down so much that they couldn't grasp the concept that I may do them some damage if I ploughed into them.
They would be the first to shout about irresponsible cyclists if I had hit them. I couldn't believe that even when I caught the eye of one particularly slow moving woman going through Broadmead, (I was on the road, not going through the middle of it) she still kept walking into the road, as if I would just bounce off her if I hit her, which may have been possible.
Clearly nothing was going to get in between her and the cookie shop she was heading for. It was quite a revelation.
I did stop at all the red lights too. But probably more because I needed to catch my breath.
So thank God for the Bristol to Bath cycle path. How wonderful to have 14 miles of tarmac undisturbed by buses cars or anything else motorised, apart from the scrotes who occasionally tear up it on their mini motos.
As I say it was a slog of a trip, I was really in no shape to take it on, but I thought I'd give it a go anyway.
I chugged along quite happily, and quite slowly, listening to a mix of block rocking beats from my iPod.
I managed to get to Bath in one piece, unlike my bike which had suffered a snapped spoke in the front wheel, you know, one of those rusty ones I wasn't worried about at the start.
I was quite knackered but exhilarated to get that far. I did contemplate finding the train station and taking the easy way home, but my ridiculous macho pride stepped in and suggested I might want to torture myself for another 14 miles or so.
A few miles into the ride back to Bristol and I was really starting to feel the pain. A second spoke snapped in my front wheel and as I stood there in the middle of absolutely nowhere, trying to untangle the metal from the forks, I wondered if I stabbed myself with it whether I could call an air ambulance to come and get me.
I thought better of wasting such precious resources and continued on to Bitton. Around Bitton there has been a weird spate of protest graffiti from a group of people who I can only assume are ultra hardline eco-warriors.
There are slogans sprayed onto the road saying things like 'Say No To Bitton Station Expansion' 'Railways Cause Global Warming', and most hilariously somebody had clambered onto an old piece of rail stock and sprayed 'Thomas Causes Climate Change'.
For those who don't know the cycle path it runs alongside the Avon Valley Railway. This is a heritage railway run mostly if not all by volunteers, where every other weekend or so in the summer steam engines chuff up and down a three mile stretch of line.
It's hardly the Trans-Siberian Railway, carrying a million tonnes of nuclear waste through paradise every day.
It's a day out for a few families and harmless train spotters whose idea of fun is listening to the sound of a steam engine whistling through the countryside.
Not exactly sitting in the South Pole stoking the fires of hell and releasing clouds of greenhouse gasses into the air.
In any case I thought more travel by railway was the green way forward, and I hope the paint they used to daub their revolutionary slogans was lead free.
Thank God for Bitton station I say as I was at the edge of sanity by the time I got there, close to hallucination and entirely spent of energy.
I headed for the cafe and bought the best Mars bar and bottle of Powerade I'd ever tasted.
I could feel my body refreshing instantly, like in a computer game when you find a medi-pack and the little bar in the top left of the screen powers up to max.
So thanks to the sugar and glucose injection I was able to get on my way and finally made it home.
The ride took three and a half hours in total, covering 34 miles. When I was at my peak of fitness some years ago I could do Bristol to Bath and back in just over two hours.
But I wasn't carrying the equivalent of a small to medium sized child on my back. That would have been weird.
Everybody was passing me, even a bloke with a trailer on his bike carrying a couple of his kids.
I don't care though, I did it and I know next time it will be better - providing my bike doesn't completely fall apart as I'm riding it.

Food and stuff, Saturday May 23

Breakfast: Back to corn flakes and bananas and two cups of coffee.
Didn't get up until about midday so that counts for lunch as well.
Dinner: Grilled a couple of chicken pieces (random cheapo cuts) and had them in pitta breads with lettuce and chopped pepper salad. Just a dollop of mayo.
I thought that would probably be enough to fill me up but I did get hungry later, probably 'cos we'd been out running earlier. So when I got home I snaffled another pitta bread with cold chicken slices, so not bad really for a post-pub snack.
I also have to say that I spent a whole evening in the pub with a very good couple of mates and I drank soda with lime all night, despite the very fine array of ales and ciders available.
We were at the Cornubia which is one of Bristol's finest boozers, and the setting for many very drunken nights in the past, the kind where I used to fall over for what I thought was no reason, because I didn't consider the ten pints I'd drunk to be relevant. And they have started gaming nights by projecting Mario Karts onto the wall outside the pub in the car park, which I thought was great. I love that pub because it is a good couple of hundred years old maybe, but it is stuck among a load of dreary modern breeze block buildings, which come right up to it like bullies gathering round a kid in the playground. Long may it survive.

Exercise: We ran for about 45 minutes. I found it really quite hard work because of the heat and was probably still tired from my bike ride the day before. Legs were much like lead. Glad we made it out though.

Food and exercise diary, Friday May 22

Breakfast: Porridge. Have finally taken the porridge plunge. Thought I'd save mess and hassle by doing it in the microwave. Not a good idea. Obviously got the ratio of milk to oats wrong as when I went to get it out after the appropriate time, half of it was splattered round the inside of the microwave like an explosion in a leper colony.
Added to that is that we probably have cleaned the microwave as often as we should and there was definitely an overtone of reheated curry to what was left.
Apart from that it was lovely.
Lunch: After a long bike ride I polished off half a small quiche and a couple of chicken pieces as I was ravenous.
Dinner: Chicken fajitas, home made. Did them with rice, probably didn't need the rice.
Had a couple of bits of chocolate to follow. Probably ate a bit more than I needed to today.

Exercise: I hit the road on the bike for the first time in a while and went to Bath and back, a total of 34 miles. It took all afternoon and was hard work, but really pleased by the end.

Food and exercise diary, Thursday, May 21.

Breakfast: Even I'm getting bored of corn flakes and bananas, may have to switch soon.
Lunch: Had to grab a sarnie at my favourite Budgens at Churchill. Was quite hungry and saw Weight Watchers do a triple pack, which meant I could stuff my face guilt free.
Basically much like any other sandwiches, but put about half the filling in. Did the job though.
Snack: Slice of quiche and couple of bits of chicken after exercise.
Dinner: Grilled chicken with Weight Watchers range tomato Napoletana sauce on a 'bed' of fresh pasta. This isn't an ad for Weight Watchers I promise, but have to say the sauce wasn't bad. I also managed to cook half the amount of pasta (which was the long ribbony kind that I can't remember how to spell) that I normally have. And whaddya know? I felt well fed afterwards.
Had a couple of squares of chocolate afterwards.

Exercise: Had to walk about a mile and a half to pick up my girlfriend's car from the garage. I think it spends more time there than it does on our drive.
Ran for 35 minutes with Marc, was great in the sunshine around the harbour. Also walked a mile there and back. Felt like I'd worked hard today, hoping it pays off.

Fashion tips

Here's a tip. Don't walk down Whiteladies Road and Park Street wearing a very tight t-shirt which shows off all your bulges and man boobs to their fullest.

I've never been so self-conscious walking down to my run tonight. I was wearing an old England football shirt, which is tight anyway as has been the style over the past few years, but it is also a couple of sizes too small.

So for anybody who remembers Viz comic, I couldn't help feeling like one of the Fat Slags as I waddled through the centre of the city, at the height of rush hour.

I looked even better on the way back, all sweaty and red faced.

It was a good run though.

Bristol Half Marathon, here I come!

Got my place booked in the Bristol Half Marathon, woo hoo. Looking forward to it already, although I am about to go out for a run so may have different ideas after that.
I think it's really important to set a realistic goal for something like a half marathon, don't want to head off to quickly and get all caught up with finishing within a certain time.
So after much thought I've decided my main goal should be to finish ahead of at least some of the walkers and not so late that they run out of bloody medals! Not that I'm still bitter about that or anything.

Food and exercise diary, Wednesday, May 20

Breakfast of champions, corn flakes with banana. I promise to start making porridge soon, it just makes such a mess in the pan. God that sounds whiny. Apologies.
I didn't really have time for lunch, so I just grabbed a banana to keep me going, and it did.
By dinner time I was predictably starving but managed to resist buying a whole loaf of bread and went for protein instead. A small selection of sushi, some cold chicken, salad, cous cous, and a hard boiled egg. Had a couple of squares of chocolate afterwards and also sneaked in a sneaky slice of quiche.
I wish I knew somebody called Lorraine, just so I could invite her round for lunch and utter the line 'would you like some more quiche, Lorraine?' I do amuse myself.

Exercise: Did about an hour and a half in the gym, split between running, cross training, cycling and a session on the weights.
Thanks go to Pete, who gave me some very helpful advice about how to do sit ups more effectively, and how to use that flaxseed stuff I got from the 10K. Incidentally I'm still waiting for my bloody medal.
And another thing while I'm on it, you can only enter the half marathon online if you have a credit card. I know it may sound a bit third world, but I don't actually have one, not by choice. All the credit card companies in the world sat me down and told me politely they no longer wanted my business some years ago. So not sure what to do.

Steve Cram, the Bristol Half Marathon and me.

Oh bloody hell!
I've just realised it's only about three months until the Bristol Half Marathon. THREE MONTHS!
I had this idea in my head that it was about six months away. I've really got some work to do. And I've got to get a place for a start.

Trying to take some inspiration from The Man Cram here:
http://www.thisisbristol.co.uk/news/Olympian-Steve-Cram-passes-tips-Bristol-Half-Marathon-runners/article-1006211-detail/article.html

Say it loud, I'm fat and I'm proud

If I was Ben Elton, and it was 1986 and I was wearing a badly fitting spangly suit, red tie and a chip on my shoulder, I might just use this blog as an excuse to start banging on about the politics of obesity.

Because while it is obviously out of order to make jokes about people on the basis of their skin colour, religion, physical ability, sexual orientation or gender, taking the p*** out of fat people has never really been off limits.

Even while the wave of Political Correctness was breaking on the shore of right-on comedy, fat people were still fair game.

The problem is that it is just so easy and I am just as guilty as anybody of cracking cheap jokes at the expense of fat people.

But I do find it interesting the ease with which people mock the overweight, without any consideration for their feelings.

Sitting in the pub or at work for example, you probably wouldn’t start making jokes about black people, or disabled people. But it seems perfectly acceptable to do so about fatties in their presence.

I’m not being over sensitive I promise, just pointing out a few observations. It is also interesting how fat people are portrayed in TV and films.

Take the current ad campaign for a building society featuring the rival bank manager who says credit card charges abroad are like leaving a tip and that he likes a bit of bubbly at the Christmas party, you know the one.

He is played by an actor who is overweight, and the character is untrustworthy, greedy, a bit stupid and generally unpleasant.

He is also a bit scruffy and has his shirt hanging out at the front, so obviously can’t be interested in his own appearance and lacks self-respect.

This is in sharp contrast with the manager of the featured building society who is young, slim, good looking and wears a sharp well-made suit. You know you can trust him, he won’t rip you off unlike that greedy fat git in the other place.

Now, I’m not trying to turn this into a sociology lecture, but as I have been carrying a few extra stone over the last couple of years, it is something you can’t help but notice.

Speaking personally, being overweight (self-inflicted I accept) is horrendous and the experiences I have gone through have been at times humiliating, embarrassing, hurtful and extremely frustrating, particularly when surrounded by images of chisel jawed James Bonds and football players.

So, getting to the point eventually, all of this is really about trying to take back the word fat, to regain ownership of it for people who really know what it means.

Say it loud, I’m fat and I’m proud. Well, maybe not proud exactly, because obviously I am trying to lose as much weight as I can.

During the process of putting on weight you spend a lot of time in denial, and believing that you can still squeeze into those shirts and jeans and still look good.

That denial can keep you fat for years without doing anything about it. But once you hold your podgy little hands up and say to the world, I am fat, you can actually start to deal with it, in my experience.

And you don’t have to look like a slob just because you’re overweight, they do actually make clothes in sizes bigger than the ones you wished you still fitted into, and I don’t mean just wearing baggy black t-shirts.

I have discovered that black really isn’t that slimming when you’re knocking on the door of 19st, unless you happen to be a 7ft basketball player.

The great thing will be to keep those clothes for when you have lost all the weight and you can do the classic weight loss pic holding out the waistband of your oversize trousers.

It’s time to face facts and embrace the challenge, rather than hiding under the metaphoric duvet and wishing it would just go away.

I'll just get off my soapbox now, thanks.

Food and stuff, Tuesday, May 19

Did well to go for a 25 minute run today, especially after feeling a bit achey after running last night.
Also walked down to the centre to meet Marc, and walked back, so was actually on my feet and exercising for about an hour and a half. Not surprisingly quite knackered, knees getting a bit of grief.

Breakfast: Corn flakes and banana for a change.
Lunch: Chicken soup, one slice of bread.
Snack: Two Go bars, strawberry yog flavours.
Dinner: Grilled piece of cod with broccoli, new pototoes, and garden peas with tartar sauce.
Kitchen now stinks like Billingsgate flippin' Market.

Food and stuff, Monday May 18

Breakfast: Corn-based cereal splashed liberally in cow juice.
Lunch: Lentil and red pepper soup, hmmm. Followed by a Go bar, strawberry yog flavour.
Dinner: Pan fried chicken breast with broccoli, peas and Jersey Royal new potatoes, lovely they were, half price at Sainsbury's too.
Had a mini apple crumble dessert, actually a bit disappointing.

Exercise: 45 minute jog with the missus. IN THE RAIN. We are so tough. Felt really good though, despite feeling a bit creaky to start with.

FAT NEWS FLASH

I just came back from my weigh in and I have lost five and a half pounds since last week.
Current weight, officially, is now 17st 6.5lbs, which means I've lost a total of 7.5lbs, or just over half a stone since I started a couple of weeks ago.
Really pleased with that.
Really had to try hard to resist rewarding myself with a double whopper with cheese.
My lentil and red pepper soup was just fine thanks.

Food and exercise diary, Sunday, May 17

Brunch: Scrambled eggs on brown toast, with brown sauce. After my poached eggs yesterday, is this too many eggs in one weekend?
Snack: Chicken salad sarnie on brown bread late afternoon.
Dinner: We ate fairly late, had chicken stir fry with noodles. Still can't face brown rice. Also getting a bit sick of chicken.

Exercise: I am really trying my best but fate was obviously not in my corner this afternoon.
Following my exertions in the gym yesterday I thought it would be good to go for a swim, although I was enjoying the more sedate pace of the sofa. But when I got to the leisure centre the pool was closed due to staff shortage. Damn and blast it. So had to come home.

Food and exercise diary, Saturday May 16.

Pic caption: How I don't look in the gym.

Trying to come up with less tedious name for these entries than food and exercise diary, but I guess it does the job.

Breakfast/Lunch: Late rising today as it is Saturday. God I love the weekend, another long week at work behind me and I get the chance to just relax for a couple of days and not be a slave to the morning alarm. Ahem. Anyway I treated myself to two poached eggs on brown toast, with a dollop of tommy K. Reckon that's okay.

Dinner: I could have eaten a horse this evening because of the gym (see below), but they were right out of Dobbin burgers at Sainsbury's, so opted for tomato and mascarpone risotto, with a couple of pieces of chicken (skin still on, very bad, but very tasty), and a load of salad lovingly doused in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Treated myself to a Dairy Milk bar after, living life to the full. This is how I spend my Saturday nights now.

Exercise: After listening to painful inevitability of Man U winning the title, inevitable in the way death and taxes are, I headed for the gym and spent an hour and a half there.

Ten mins warm up, 10 mins cross trainer, 10 mins treadmill, 10 mins bike, 5 mins skipping then 45 mins of different sets on the weights.

Felt pretty good after. The only downside was that I forgot my swimmies so couldn't get my 50 lengths in. Oh well, next time.

I did manage to resist heading round to Rocco's on Gloucester Road after the gym for the best take away pizza in Bristol, and I resisted not bothering to go the gym, if that counts.

Food and exercise diary, Friday May 15.

Breakfast: The now familiar taste of corn flakes and a chopped banana. Although I discovered today that more than one banana may not be a good thing, which throws my entire game plan out the window.
Lunch: Chicken salad, mayo (light) on brown bread, followed by a brunch bar.
Dinner: Home made potato salad, with mayo and chives, it was really nice and still warm, hmmm. With risotto and couple of cold roast chicken drumsticks, and more salad.
Not sure rice and potatoes on the same plate is good, bit of a carb overload I guess. But it was bloody lovely.

Exercise: Induction at Horfield Leisure Centre. Really good session in the gym there, learned a lot about what to do. I explained my goals to fitness instructor Easton, and he sounded quite surprised. He said he would have advised against me running the 10K had I seen him two weeks ago and that my physical state was 'pretty ropey'. Can't disagree myself, so the only way is forward. He did seem amazed that I had finished the 10K without actually collapsing. Not as amazed as myself though.

Three pounds down

Okay, I know it's not a huge amount, but I just weighed myself, under the same conditions as at the start of last week, (loose change out of my pocket, watch off) and it would appear I am three pounds down. See pic for evidence.

According to my dodgy old scales I'm 17st 11lbs, which is a pound less than I was at Weight Watchers on Monday. Not much, but going the right way at least.

I'm hoping it will start shifting more quickly once the exercise regime kicks in. Can't wait. No, really, I can't wait.

Food and exercise diary, Thursday, May 14.

Exercise: As mentioned in last blog, managed a 25 minute run around the harbourside, with a bit of walking thrown in. Easier to run in rain than heat I think.

Breakfast: Corn flakes and banana, the breakfast of champions.
Lunch: Had to grab a sarnie from my favourite Budgens on the A38 at Churchill. It was chicken, and bacon, but it was on malted bread, whatever that is. And I did resist the temptations of crisps or chocolate, and made do with just one sandwich.
Although had to have a Brunch bar and a banana when I got home.
Snack: I had to snaffle a cheese sandwich, on brown bread, just after the run. I was so hungry. I think that's not bad considering I was having visions of double flame grilled whoppers as I walked home.
Dinner: Chicken stir fry, with noodles. Can't work out if noodles are healthier than rice, but decided I could eat as much stiry fry as I liked as it's all good. Isn't it?

Resisting the urges

Had a great run tonight, in the rain, very heroic.

Tonight was absolute testament to having somebody to train with. Had I not been meeting Marc down at the harbourside tonight there is no way I would have gone out to run.

I am definitely a fair weather jogger, cyclist or anything else like that.

If it's a beautiful summers evening and you can see the rolling green hills of North Somerset in the distance at a sedate trot, I'm totally in my element.

If like tonight you have to battle through slate gray rain and conditions that don't put the industrial relic of the harbourside in the best light, it is much harder work.

Having said all that, it was only a bit of rain, so I should really stop being a wimp. It's not like I've got to run over a minefield with a 50lb pack on my back and dodge bullets as I go.

Anyway, rain aside, it was a really good run, for me. We did about 25 minutes, and I walked the mile there and back to meet up, so I'm feeling doubly good.

I've also decided (at Marc's suggestion) to work in an extra element to the diary and as well as talk about the stuff I did eat, I am going to mention the stuff I managed to resist, to prove how saintly I am being.

For example today I resisted getting out of bed when the alarm tazared my brain, I resisted getting dressed for most of the day and come to think of it I was very strong at one point in resisting the shower.

But as I had to have lunch on the run today I was especially good in resisting scotch eggs, pork pies, crisps or any of that other wonderfully bad garage food.

I think the SS Bad Habits tanker is slowly starting to turn around.

The health dangers of cous-cous

Just finished bit of a rant on food labels and cous-cous www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bJaCNL-6Xs

Food and exercise diary, Wednesday, May 13

Breakfast: The now usual bowl of corn flakes and a banana, but have now started taking cod liver oil in the mornings too. Apparently makes your joints nice and supple, and gives you strong hair and teeth. A bit like dog food then.
Lunch: One round of chicken salad sarnies, followed by another a couple of hours later. No Pringles mind.
Snack: A strawberry yoghurt Go snack biscuit thing.
Dinner: Fillet of salmon, fried in olive oil, with new pototoes, broccoli and peas. It was lovely.
I may have had a couple of choccy balls after that.

Exercise: Been a busy day, remained active in the sense that I had things to do, but no formal exercise.

Food and exercise diary, Tuesday, May 12.

Breakfast: Good start, corn flakes and a banana.
Lunch: One round of chicken and salad sandwich, on BROWN BREAD! Is it actually any better? Had to finish off the tube of Pringles in the cupboard, but no more.
Snack: Some kind of yoghurt biscuit bar which claims on the packet to be about 70 calories per slice, but then they give you two slices in a packet, so you have to eat both of them.
Snack 2: Half a cheese sandwich and a banana after lots of exercise.
Dinner: Chili con carne, home made to my dad's recipe, bloody lovely. Too bloody lovely, went back for more, and a bit more after.
No dessert though.

Exercise: Mowed the lawn, which takes more effort than you might think as we have an ancient push along thing, which is so old that the fact it has no motor and is wireless would probably make it an expensively retro piece of kit.
Went for a 20 minute run around the harbourside, but walked down there to meet Marc, who is helping me train, and that is easily a mile. And walked back as well, slowly up Park Street, another mile to my journey.
Was quite scared and confused while walking past Borders on the Triangle when what seemed like hundreds of women started running at me.
I couldn't believe I had reached the heights of megastardom so soon, it must have been the post-race picture I posted on this blog.
In fact, of course, it was a women's running club, possibly students, they all seemed to be wearing the same vest. I was quite knackered by the time I got home, but feeling good at the same time.

Food and exercise diary, Monday, May 11.

Breakfast: Corn flakes and a banana. Not a bacon rasher in sight.
Lunch: Ham and egg mayo sarnie. Home made mind! Pringles tasted good and bad at the same time. Really should give those up this week.
Snack: Low calorie snack bar, about the size of tie pin, no wonder there's no calories in it.
Dinner: Three sausages, mashed potato and peas. Home made onion gravy. Hmmm. An extra sausage.
Followed by a pointless snack bar.

Exercise: I did consider going to the gym after a fairly steady day working, but decided I shouldn't overdo it, wouldn't want to cause an injury so early in the journey. Almost mowed the lawn too. Sweated a lot in the kitchen making dinner, because it does get hot in the kitchen, at one point I couldn't stand it. Must have shed a few calories before gaining a load more thanks to Mr Mashed Potato and his friend the Sausage Kid.

New video diary

I've been at the video camera again: www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVkR6KmimeU

Weighing in

I've gone and joined Weight Watchers. My starting weight is 17st 12lbs, which means I have lost two pounds since last week when I started this blog. Must have been that 10K.
I know it sounds a bit, well, girlie, but Weight Watchers (other slimming clubs are available) has been really good for me in the past. And I'm really blokey in lots of other ways, much time is spent both farting and burping in front of long-suffering girlfriend.
It really is a good way to get help, but don't expect to bond with any male dieters as most classes, like the one I joined today are run by women and attended by women. There is no bar to men, you just don't see a lot of them.
When I first joined more than three years ago I stuck with them and lost four stone. Put it all back on obviously, but as terrifying as it might seem it really is a big step forward to join up.
The first time I joined I felt so self-conscious.
Being overweight obviously does that anyway, but to be surrounded by about 20 women was a bit daunting and not as much fun as you might think. I felt like all eyes were on me, which they probably weren't, and I was so terrified when I was doing the paperwork I was sweating about as much as I did doing that 10K yesterday. All I wanted to do was get weighed and get out.
But I stayed for a class, and I really have to say it was well worth it.
Look at it this way, you go to a garage to get your car fixed, go to the doctor if you're ill, so why not seek out proper help and advice when you want to sort your weight out?
When I first put on shed loads of lard I went to see my doctor and asked if there was something he could do. I think I expected him to provide some kind of magic pill that helped me lose weight while maintaining an unbalanced and unhealthy diet. It doesn't exist.
He told me to sign up to a slimming club and it was the best advice he could have given me.
So I'm back there again as I want to get as much help as I can, from people who know what they're doing. And with any slimming club the support network is really important.
In fact, if you're a man who does go to Weight Watchers and you're surrounded by women, let me know and maybe we can start a mens' group.
I'm already thinking of what not to eat so I can shave another couple of pounds off for next week.

Food and exercise diary, Sunday, May 10

Breakfast: With the run in mind, I had a simple bowl of cardboard flakes and several pints of water.
Lunch: Not surprisingly I was frickin' starving after the run, so gorged on bread and ham, bananas and chocolate, and a handful of Pringles. And a couple of chicken legs.
Dinner: Still hungry after waking from short snooze, so had homemade potato salad, more chicken legs and salad. Hmm. A sneaky muffin to follow.
What the hell I'm supposed to do a with the packets of flaxseed in the goodie bags, I don't know.
I was hoping for a bottle of Lucozade, maybe some chocolate, or at least a medal! Apparently they ran out of medals, unbelievably, so was left with flaxseed, and a t-shirt. Thinking I may plant the flaxseed in the garden and see what happens. Maybe I will grow a flax tree, whatever that might be.

Exercise: Ten glorious kilometres, in one hour 36 mins (ish). I didn't wear the chip on my running shoes as I fully expected not to finish, so not sure of exact time, but that's what it said on the clock on the finish line. Been hobbling like an arthritic 90-year-old for the rest of the day.

Fatboy runs Bristol

What a great day! I managed to haul myself around the Bristol 10k today in one hour and 36mins, which is probably about an hour after the front runners finished but I am really pleased.

I really didn't think I would even finish the event, I was so convinced that I would be bailing out half way round that I arranged to meet my girlfriend at the 5k point so that we could go home and enjoy the rest of our Sunday.

But somehow, despite the heat and the lack of water stops, I decided to keep going and I'm really pleased I did.

My basic plan was to try to run the first ten minutes, and then see what happened after that.

I started quite far back in the field (there were thousands taking part it was great), and I quickly moved to right to the tail end and stragglers.

Soon it was a straight race between me and the power walkers, which was a familiar position to be in.

I was still thinking about the joy of finishing half way round, but once the body shock calmed down I felt pretty good about it. I kept going by keeping my eye on one particularly strident power walker and broke down the running to ten minute chunks, with a few minutes walking in-between.

As I turned at the half way point to come back down the Portway I was pleased to see there were still some people coming up it and so were behind me. There weren't many though, it must be said, and they included a couple of women doing a three legged race.

It was a really hot day as well, I did have images, possibly hallucinations, of headlines in the Evening Post along the lines of 'Man, 34, collapses on the Portway during hottest day ever to run a 10K', above a picture of me spread eagle on the tarmac, but I kept going.

To reach the finishing line was just such a great feeling. The best bit about it was that there was nobody really in front of me or behind, so the whole crowd were clapping and cheering me on all the way home, which did a lot for my ego, and my legs. I spotted the power walker I had been following most of the run with about 100m to go, so found the strength to put a bit of a sprint on and tore past her, oh yeh, I owned her.

It was great to finish, and to think I must have run at least 75 per cent of it, when I seriously thought I wouldn't even get half way round, has really inspired me.

London marathon? How hard can it be? (I do know how hard, just give me my moment).

Food and exercise diary, Saturday May 9

Breakfast/Lunch: Got up quite late, about midday, so breakfast turned into lunch. Scrambled eggs, with four sausages and toast. Followed by a couple of brunch bars.
Dinner: A splendid evening at my friend's Marc and Carla, who recreated a little Italian restaurant feeling in their home. Lovely cold meat antipasti thingy, followed by traditional spaghetti bolognese, and a couple of slices of equally traditional cheese cake. Only one glass of wine. Carbs good for run tomorrow.

Exercise: Not much today. Waved Amy off as she went for a run, and lifted frying pan onto cooker top to fry my lovely sausages. Tomorrow will be a challenge.

Food and exercise diary, Friday, May 8

Breakfast: Boring cereal, two slices of calorie laden toast.
Lunch: Two rounds of chicken salad and mayo sarnies, on white bread. God I'm bored of chicken, I'd really fancy a swan burger or something for a change.
Snack: Cadbury's Brunch bar. And another one later.
Dinner: Thought about fish and steamed broccoli, actually had a couple of burgers. Home cooked, as if that makes a difference. That was followed by half a bucket of Gu chocolate rolls.
Oh, and most of, well all of a bottle of red wine. It is Friday!

Exercise, minimal. Had lots of work to do, and in fact I did walk to the shops and brought home two heavy bags of shopping. Feel that I should conserve energy for Sunday.

Apparently a bowl of cardboard flakes with raisins and sawdust, with a just a couple of slices of toast to follow, puts on four pounds in weight.
I might as well have had a flippin' egg and bacon sandwich, at least I would have enjoyed it.

Breakthrough!

I've lost two pounds, woop woop, get in!
I just weighed myself to see how my high-carb high-chocolate, massive-portions diet has been going, and according to the cheapo scales in the bathroom I am now a slimline 17st 12lbs.
Now, it must be said, I haven't yet had breakfast, and I had just dropped the kids off at the pool, if you know what I mean, so it's probably not an accurate reading. But I'm grasping at the straw of hope, and for the first time this week I'm not eating breakfast at a service station on the M5. So that's got to be a good thing too, although I do have the pangs of egg and bacon sarnie withdrawal. Mmmm, egg and bacon...

So far, not so good.

As I approach the end of my first week of trying to lose nearly half my body weight and all that, I have to conclude that progress probably isn't as rapid as first hoped.
I think they made more ground in the battle of the Somme than I have in four days of just trying to not eat so much, it shouldn't be that hard.
But I have got the Bristol 10K to look forward to on Sunday. I signed up for it in a moment of hopeless optimism some time ago, and now I face the prospect of trying to run about seven miles (I still can't work in that new fangled Euro currency) having done virtually no training.
In fact if my training could be measured in minus, like temperature, it would be some way close to Arctic conditions I suspect.
Not sure how I will feel on the day, or for several after it, but I am going to give it a bash, even if it means getting a lift on the truck that goes round picking up the cones when they re-open the roads.
I mean, what's the worst that can happen when a seriously overweight man in his thirties attempts to run seven miles after no training, just a couple of years after a heart operation? Well, the organisers should check I signed the waiver to stop me suing them, and I'll probably just walk most of the way.

Food and exercise diary, Thursday May 7

Breakfast: An egg and bacon sandwich, from Budgens on the A38 at Churchill. Superior to Gordano services in many ways, more filling mainly.
Lunch: Haloumi 'cor blimey how much?' and salad panini, which came with the most pathetic 'garnish' and four, (I counted) four individual crisps. Reckon the server must have snaffled the packet. Did me a favour I s'pose.
Snack: Small bit of French sausage in French bread with not-so-French packet of onion rings.
Dinner: Seafood pasta, with creme fraiche (half fat) sauce and chopped chives, one of my favourites and virtually a health food. Unlike the Galaxy bar I had to follow.

Exercise: Not so much. Nearly went for my second run this week, but to be fair, it was raining, it really was. And I would have definitely not driven to Sainsbury's had it not been raining so hard.

How fat am I?

So I was watching the London marathon coverage ten days ago, which was full of all the usual inspiring stories, including a bloke who was 23 stones a year ago, and had lost more than half his body weight or something crazy to take part in the run. (One of the reasons why I am now doing the same thing).
But it made me think that these days, you've got be 20 stone plus before anybody takes you seriously as a fatty.
I mean, at 18 stone I thought I was pretty fat, and indeed I am, but next to that guy, and many people I see around Bristol, I'm a mere slip of a lad.
The whole thing has shifted up several gears.
But I can't imagine how I can fit any more lard into my body. I had a heart operation in 2007 which has left me with a rather impressive scar down the middle of my chest where they had to saw through my sternum. Ouch. Anyway, there are times when I worry it's going to split like a zip bursting on a pair trousers.
So how anybody could get up to the likes of 50 stone is beyond me. Although in a weird way I am impressed by anybody who can eat enough to get that big. Judging by my food diary I reckon I won't be far off. It does look like a lot when you write it down.
It's weird but when I told a former colleague I was aiming to lose eight stone, she said that was how much she weighed. That means I can shed the weight of a whole person, a full grown adult, and still have enough to go round.
And so it has begun. I went for my first run on Tuesday, and considering the driving wind and rain, I felt very brave and manly. I ran about a mile, very slowly and stopped a couple of times to walk. But I kept going when I thought I might give up completely, so I'm pleased with that start. Only 25 miles to go.

Food and exercise diary, Wednesday, May 6

Breakfast: Two slices of toast, with spread, two cups of coffee and a side of Frasier.
Lunch: Two sub rolls with chicken salad.
Snacks: Two double chocolate chip muffins.
More snacks: French bread with houmous, French sausage and bag of onion rings, probably not necessary
Dinner: Chicken stir fry with noodles, quite healthy, followed by a Cadbury’s brunch bar, which probably sounds healthier than it is.

No real exercise, except walking to Sainsbury’s to buy dinner, which all told, including walking round the shop, was probably about a mile.

Food and exercise diary, Tuesday, May 5

Breakfast: Egg and bacon sandwich, Gordano services.
Lunch: Two rounds of ham sandwiches.
Snack: Two small pork pies, packet of crisps.
Dinner: Two hot dogs, with salad and cold roasted chicken leg.
Dessert: Two double chocolate chip muffins

Today I felt compelled to run after the rude man who nicked the parking space I was about to move into, but thought better of it.
Ran around the small half of the Downs, about a mile, only stopped twice. Didn’t time it but still pleased with the effort.

Food and exercise diary, Monday May 4

Breakfast: Bowl of Just Right cereal with semi skimmed milk, two slices of toast with Olive Light spread.
Lunch: BLT sandwich, bag of ready salted crisps and Kit Kat chunky at Gordano service station on M5.
Snack: Cheese and mayo sandwich on white bread about 5.30.
Dinner: Spaghetti Bolognese, home made with 500grams of Be Good To Yourself minced beef. Large portion with seconds.
Dessert: Two double chocolate chip muffins.

No physical activity, unless you count hauling a bag of waste paper out to the recycle bins.
And I did run ten yards to my car in the Co-Op car park at Portishead when it was raining.

What this is all about

I've been going on for years about the issue of weight loss and running half marathons and generally screwing up my pudgy little face and saying 'it's not fair, nobody understands what it's like to be fat'.
Well now I'm really going to do something constructive, instructive and entertaining about it.
Never before has obesity been such a newsworthy issue, as never before have there been so many fat people.
So it is time to really get down to it and see how normal people can deal with it without resorting to gastric bands or going on daytime TV to cry about how they can't help being fat.
Make no mistake, I am fat, massively overweight, a lardarse, a chubber, fatboy, oompa lumpa, piggy, whatever.
And there's pretty much only one reason for it, I've eaten too much and done no exercise.
In order to show how obvious this is, I am going to post regular food and exercise diaries to show how the two things are somehow linked.
I am also making video diaries which you can see by clicking on the links on this page.
I have set myself a simple goal, which is to lose eight stone and train to run the London marathon next year, 2010, to raise money for the British Heart Foundation.
Eight stone is a lot to lose, but when you're 5ft 6 and tipping the scales at 18 stone, you can spare it.
I want to document the journey to explore the issue of obesity and body image for men, and how men fit into the whole diet industry.
I also want to use this as a forum to share ideas and experience from anybody going through the same thing.
It's also important to me that I achieve my goals by doing things that everybody can do, making life changes not going on weird diets and starving myself and generally feeling crappy about it.
Making positive changes is what it's all about.
This is no place for self-pity, it's time to take the fat back, and kick its ass.
I hope you will find it interesting and entertaining, or at the very least momentarily distracting.